They call it anorexia, my wish to be completely perfect.
Dear Diary
Today was a long day in school and I haven't really eaten anything yet today
But I guess that's good
I just wanted to write something real quick before I go off to bed
So here it goes
Dear diary
I'm fourteen and I always feel so nervous
Tell me why is it that everyone is so perfect
While I feel so worthless, and they look so happy
While lately for me, my mood has been crappy
And I have come to believe all the things that I'm seeing
On magazines and TV, of every single perfect being
All the girls with perfect bodies, and such amazing skin
Oh how I would kill to live the life that they are in
I've been trying to lose weight over that past couple of weeks
Throwing up after meals, on the rare times that I eat
But that isn't enough, I still need to do much more
To get this guy to notice me, people wonder what for
There's so much room in my tummy that it isn't funny
I don't wanna be people's dummy, but either way I feel dumpy
Most of the time I am left here, thinking to myself
Oh god is this worth it, or do I need some help
Like
Chorus:
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom, and cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it
You're not alone(repeat 16x)
-
I'm twenty-three and just ran across my old diary
I opened it up but i really don't know what inspired me
To do this, but I was instantly in tears
To think of how lost I was during those young years
And that guy that I mentioned back when I was fourteen
He's my fiancé now; I guess that I'm living a dream
We got a small house, a nice car and a good life
But my arms are still scarred from using my own knife
But he accepts me how I am, and he knows about my past
And after all that, he still says that we're gonna last
And I love him, I love him, I love him with all my heart
I honestly couldn't take it if we ever got pulled apart
If I could say one thing to me at age fourteen
It would be that you'll find a guy who will treat you like a queen
It gets better than it is, don't worry about your size
And never think you're alone, someone out there hears your cries
Saying
Chorus:
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom, and cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it
You're not alone(repeat 16x)
Dear Diary... This will be one of the last entries I will make for a while I think. I decided that, it's time things change, and time I can be happy. So I am going to start new. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for listening.
This road to recovery's honestly been a bitch.
It took all of my will to finally make the switch.
I'm 20 years of age, but my weight says I'm ten.
And I feel like in my life I have not one friend.
I've been hurt too much, and my trust is all gone.
It's gotten to the point where I'm as frail as a fawn.
All these guys are using me, saying my beauty's true you see.
But then they all abuse me, and none of it is news to me.
They call it anorexia, my wish to be completely perfect.
I remember telling them that all I want to be is worth it.
My mom was worried when I didn't have the strength to stand
Calorie counting seems to be my only helping hand.
Life has me wondering why the hell am I even here?
What ever happened to the people I once held near?
I'm sick of everyone always telling me what to do.
All I want is something that I can relate to.
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls.
I've been hit by my mum, and cursed by the world.
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect.
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it. (X2)
Does my story end here? Thats all that I wanna know.
I never thought that I'd end up feeling fully alone.
In my room, no ones there, I cry myself to sleep.
I wish that I could love, and live and just leave.
Breathe, I made it through another long day.
Finding fear in the words that I didn't ever say.
How can I match up to what the world says is beautiful?
I look into the mirror and the me I see is unsuitable.
Tell me I'm beautiful, that's all I really wanna hear.
Hold me close, and make all of the pain disappear.
It's unhealthy, I know I should treat myself better.
I want someone to understand me down to the letter.
But mark my words, I'll be stronger then I ever was.
I'll be happy with myself, and honestly I never was.
I need to move on, past this diary I've always kept.
And all the pages that hold all the tears that I wept.
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls.
I've been hit by my mum, and cursed by the world.
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect.
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it. (X2)
Today was a long day in school and I haven't really eaten anything yet today
But I guess that's good
I just wanted to write something real quick before I go off to bed
So here it goes
Dear diary
I'm fourteen and I always feel so nervous
Tell me why is it that everyone is so perfect
While I feel so worthless, and they look so happy
While lately for me, my mood has been crappy
And I have come to believe all the things that I'm seeing
On magazines and TV, of every single perfect being
All the girls with perfect bodies, and such amazing skin
Oh how I would kill to live the life that they are in
I've been trying to lose weight over that past couple of weeks
Throwing up after meals, on the rare times that I eat
But that isn't enough, I still need to do much more
To get this guy to notice me, people wonder what for
There's so much room in my tummy that it isn't funny
I don't wanna be people's dummy, but either way I feel dumpy
Most of the time I am left here, thinking to myself
Oh god is this worth it, or do I need some help
Like
Chorus:
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom, and cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it
You're not alone(repeat 16x)
-
I'm twenty-three and just ran across my old diary
I opened it up but i really don't know what inspired me
To do this, but I was instantly in tears
To think of how lost I was during those young years
And that guy that I mentioned back when I was fourteen
He's my fiancé now; I guess that I'm living a dream
We got a small house, a nice car and a good life
But my arms are still scarred from using my own knife
But he accepts me how I am, and he knows about my past
And after all that, he still says that we're gonna last
And I love him, I love him, I love him with all my heart
I honestly couldn't take it if we ever got pulled apart
If I could say one thing to me at age fourteen
It would be that you'll find a guy who will treat you like a queen
It gets better than it is, don't worry about your size
And never think you're alone, someone out there hears your cries
Saying
Chorus:
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom, and cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it
You're not alone(repeat 16x)
Dear Diary... This will be one of the last entries I will make for a while I think. I decided that, it's time things change, and time I can be happy. So I am going to start new. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for listening.
This road to recovery's honestly been a bitch.
It took all of my will to finally make the switch.
I'm 20 years of age, but my weight says I'm ten.
And I feel like in my life I have not one friend.
I've been hurt too much, and my trust is all gone.
It's gotten to the point where I'm as frail as a fawn.
All these guys are using me, saying my beauty's true you see.
But then they all abuse me, and none of it is news to me.
They call it anorexia, my wish to be completely perfect.
I remember telling them that all I want to be is worth it.
My mom was worried when I didn't have the strength to stand
Calorie counting seems to be my only helping hand.
Life has me wondering why the hell am I even here?
What ever happened to the people I once held near?
I'm sick of everyone always telling me what to do.
All I want is something that I can relate to.
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls.
I've been hit by my mum, and cursed by the world.
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect.
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it. (X2)
Does my story end here? Thats all that I wanna know.
I never thought that I'd end up feeling fully alone.
In my room, no ones there, I cry myself to sleep.
I wish that I could love, and live and just leave.
Breathe, I made it through another long day.
Finding fear in the words that I didn't ever say.
How can I match up to what the world says is beautiful?
I look into the mirror and the me I see is unsuitable.
Tell me I'm beautiful, that's all I really wanna hear.
Hold me close, and make all of the pain disappear.
It's unhealthy, I know I should treat myself better.
I want someone to understand me down to the letter.
But mark my words, I'll be stronger then I ever was.
I'll be happy with myself, and honestly I never was.
I need to move on, past this diary I've always kept.
And all the pages that hold all the tears that I wept.
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls.
I've been hit by my mum, and cursed by the world.
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect.
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it. (X2)